As the cool fall air is sweeping in, us parents find ourselves repeating the same old,

 “How was your day?” 

as children come home from school. This questions may leave you wondering just how your child’s day really was as the same old “good” or “fine” tend to be the daily response. The team at Fleming Family Therapy has brainstormed some alternative questions to potentially dive in and spark those conversations!

Alternative questions:


  • What surprised you today?
  • What did you try for the first time today?
  • When did you feel proud of yourself today?
  • How did you help someone today?
  • What made you feel special (or important) today?
  • What was the most interesting thing you did or learned today?
  • What are you most looking forward to tomorrow?
  • What made you laugh or smile today?
  • If you had to assign a color to today, which color would it be?
  • What part of today would you like to repeat again tomorrow or another day?
  • Who did you connect with today? -or- Who did you have fun with today?
  •  Did anything challenge you today?
  • Were you nice to everyone today? Was everyone nice to you?
  • What subject are you enjoying and why?
  • What is something you struggled with today? How were you able to problem solve it, or is it something I can help with?
  • What was the best/favorite part of your day?
  • What friends are you feeling the closest with and how come?
  • From a scale from 0 to 10 (0 being the least and 10 the most) how would you evaluate your day at school today, and why?
  • Is there anything that is going on at school that is worrying you?
  • What is one thing you want to do differently tomorrow?
  • What book(s) did you read today?
  • What did you learn in (history) class today?

We recommend that you use open ended questions that lead to conversation and can help you and your kiddos feel connected to each other!


Alternative Activities


Another great option is creating an activity to dive more into your child’s day after school. Janelle suggested the “Rose, Thorn, Bud” activity:

  • Rose: favorite part of the day, something positive that happened, and/or a success
  • Thorn: most challenging part of the day, something that made you feel stuck, and/or something you need support with
  • Bud: something you are looking forward to, new ideas or concepts that you want to learn more about, and/or areas that you want to improve

While Dawn suggested some time to decompress before being asked questions about school:

“Upon being reunited, children need hugs, smiles, and some time to reset. Although after-school activities may be busy, parents can set the stage for decompressing by providing a snack in the car or at home, playing some music, or if you have time, reading a book together. Conversations with children about their school day should evolve naturally. For example, parents can start with a connection from their day such as, “I thought of you today when it was snowing during recess. Did you do anything fun in the snow?”

Tip: A great snack in the car is cut fruit or vegetables with your child’s favorite dipping sauce.”


Let us know what you have found that works best for you!

Ahora ofreciendo nuestros servicios en español, Now offering our services in Spanish